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The drinker says "Who's buying the next round?"The poor person says "I'd rather have a glass half-empty than no glass at all."The rich person says "You can have whatever water trickles over the edge"The drunk says: Which glass?The Plumber says: You've got a leak.This one is compliments of DonYou Might Be A Conservative if...You've named your kids "Deduction one" and"Deduction two."You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."You've ever called a. Oh boy! Only, I don’t see any illustrations. Jacob, do I have to read all this?”“Don’t be an idiot, Francine!” Em declared. “I’ll read it and tell you everything I learn. Don’t worry.”“You might have to practice together a little, you know,” I smirked.“Um ... Oh. Emily?”“Imagine how much fun it would be to learn that stuff and then teach little brother,” Em laughed. “We might have to practice to make sure you got it right.”“Yeah. Um ... What else did you get?”“A Moleskine journal and a pen.”“A journal? In paper? Don’t you like have Tumblr or Facebook?”“Yeah, but I want this on paper.”“Are you going to sharpen your own quills?”“I want to be a writer. Ms. Levy said today that the one thing a writer does every day is write. She suggested a journal.”“It’s pretty. So soft,” Francie said as she stroked the cover.“Are you going to let us read it?”“It’s personal, Em. That’s why it’s not online.”I was going to have to do something about that. I thought that if I kept it in my secure backpack.
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