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We live in a small ex mining community in Fife Scotland, where everyone knows everyone else.One time we were in a bar enjoying karaoke drinks, a few laughs with good company, and somehow invited a friend of our to come home with us after closing time.We had a couple more drinks at home, then I noticed my wife nodding off. I took her drink out of her hand and she didn't flinched. Myself and John sat for another 10 minutes or so before I said I was nipping out to the garden shed to get more beers.Unknown to him, I had parted the blinds slightly when we came home as I thought something like this might happen.I quietly crept out of the back door on to our patio, and had a clear view of where my wife was sitting sleeping.In no time at all, John was over beside her, and slowly lifter her hand a few inches and dropped it on her lap. He was obviously testing if she was asleep or feigning it.Knowing I was "at the toilet", he quickly moved his hand under her skirt, and started fondling her. I. In truth, I had been in the local library reading Batman graphic novels in the c***dren’s section. I refuse buy them at the price they charge.“I know,” she all but snarled. “The postman left it with me; I took it in, what’s the harm I thought.”My eyes widened a little, but unsure as yet if she knew what my order had or had not been I hedged my bets and said “Thank you?” then followed it up with “Where is it?”“Where is it?” she repeated, “Where is it indeed, well you might ask, where is it?”I chewed on my bottom lip slightly, “I just did, didn’t I?”“It was raining today, piddling down, all the mail was wet, my letters, my post and your parcel, that was too big to go through your letter box,” she annunciate just a little too clearly. “So when I put it down the wrapping ripped a little and I could see what was inside.”I blushed like a letterbox, oh fudge, she knew, she knew and she would spread it around the estate and I would be a laughing stock.“OH sweet Jesus this is embarrassing,”.
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