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But this was only the second time they had met on a professional level, and Doc was a little nervous, especially the way Tommy sounded on the phone. He took a deep breath and pulled the door open.Tommy was easy to find. Doc saw his stocky red-headed friend sitting at the bar with his back to the door. Doc walked up behind Tommy and stuck a finger in his back and said, "Your money or your wife?" Take her, she's yours," Tommy responded, laughing and turning around to embrace his high school buddy.They talked about their lives in general and sports for a while and finally, Tommy asked, "So what can I do for you, Doc?" Well, Tommy, I want to know more about Nirvana. We've had a dozen cases of Nirvana overdose brought into the hospital in the last three days. I've managed to keep four of them alive, but they will never see. I talked to Paul Marcus at St. Luke's and John Astor at Memorial. Neither one of them has had even one case brought in. What's going on? What is the drug? I need more. With the exception of a handful of interviewees, every “dating guru” sounded like a total dork, including David DeAngelo (who claims that one time he put an “L” on his forehead and mouthed the words “loser” to a girl, and she found him attractive). What gave these guys “expert” status made no sense to me. I will admit, however, that there was some interesting stuff on there. One of the gurus described a tactic in which he’d program his phone number under the name “Sex God” into girls’ phones. Though it’d been over a year since I heard that particular interview, while talking with a hefty 31-year-old blonde at Woody’s, I applied the technique hoping all that time spent in the car listening to these hopeless bozos would yield some results. Her name was Pam. She was an inverted Butterface, so instead of having a hot body and ugly face, Pam had a hot face and ugly body. When I asked my buddy Axe if there was a name for that, his response was: “Fat.” Fair enough. Pam was on her way out as.
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