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At that point, I couldn't go on lying anymore.There was no epiphany. I didn't have a passion-inspired sexual encounter with another woman, and suddenly realize, "Oh, I'm a lesbian! Just think, after all these years..." In fact, I never had sex with another woman until well after I came out to myself. Coming out was a process that played out over several years, starting with admitting that I couldn't lie to myself any longer, and culminating in the dreaded day I had to tell Josh.In looking back, I think Josh would have been any mother's dream child. He was a boy's boy, enamored of all things connected to the outdoors and sports. His particular passion was hockey after his father started him in a five and six-year-old league. From there, passion became obsession, and he and his father had visions of him being the next Wayne Gretzky. By the time he was eight, he was involved in leagues that had him playing eight out of twelve months a year. It seemed at times my life was reduced to work. Inevitably the whole thing ended with Tina receiving a huge load of cum all over her face. The clip ended with a close-up of her face running with sperm as she said something else in Dutch.“Which means?” I asked.“I hope I performed to your satisfaction, sir,” my wife said. Then she threw her arms around me. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry you had to find about this.”“Perhaps it was inevitable,” I replied holding her tight.We sat like that for a while, then, I asked, because I had to, “So how many videos do you think Lulu has of you?”My wife leaned back, looking slightly embarrassed. “This is going to sound terrible,” she said. “But if she’s kept them all, we’re talking four figures.”“Four figures?” I exclaimed, losing my calm slightly.“20 years,” my wife said softly. “At least one shoot a week. It was what I had instead of a boyfriend or a husband.”There was renewed silence. I didn’t know what the correct response was. But then life and age and experience have taught me that there’s no.
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