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. Home of the Free!TRANSLATING WOMEN’S ENGLISHYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoWe need = I wantI’m sorry = You’ll be sorryWe need to talk = I need to complainSure, go ahead = I don’t want you toIs my bum fat? = Tell me I’m beautifulDo what you want = You’ll pay for this laterI’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re deadYou have to learn to communicate = Just agree with meBe romantic, turn out the lights = I hate my thighsYou’re so ... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lotDo you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensiveIt’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by nowYou’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TVHow much do you love me? = I did something today that you’re really not going to likeTRANSLATING MEN’S ENGLISHI’m hungry = I’m hungryI’m sleepy = I’m sleepyI’m tired = I’m tiredNice dress = Nice cleavage!I. I crawled above them and laid my head on the pillow. About 10 minutes later Carol asked if I minded sliding over, she was tired also and wanted to lie down too. Keep in mind this is only a single bed and I am a pretty big guy about 6 foot and 225 pounds. Of course I agreed, I knew that since the bed was so small I would have a great opportunity to be touching her accidentally. She was wearing shorts with a short blouse and bra. She climbed on top. I tried my best to act like I was as far over to the edge as I could but the truth was I really wasn't trying to hard. The only way for both of us to fit up there comfortably was for us to spoon together. So here I was lying in bed with one of the sexiest woman I know and I had to make sure I didn't get a hard on and embarrass myself. I did everything I could from thinking about football to my work. Eventually it worked because I drifted off to sleep. We must have been driving a while because when I woke up it was dark. My father-in-law was.
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