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“I got her a nice gift,” he said as he unzipped his pants in the urinal next to me.“Shut up,” I said, thinking that he was referring to his penis.“Relax, buddy,” he said in a patronizing manner. “I got her some panties.”“Oh!” I let out in surprise, hearing what he said and simultaneously glancing at his massive flaccid penis.“Weirdo,” he said before walking away.I spent the rest of the day thinking of what he had told me and unable to shake the mental image of his size. Fully erect, he had to be about three times bigger than me.The following day, I was relieved not to see Cliff at school, but I had a feeling that it had something to do with my mom’s birthday. That feeling was proven true when my mom didn’t pick me up from school, and I had to make the long walk home under the blistering heat. At least I had my phone and my earbuds to entertain myself and make it more bearable.It wasn’t like my mom to ignore me, forget me, or anything along those lines. All she had ever shown me was. “I knew no such thing and don’t call me Shirley,” Ned quipped, making Nadine laugh more than a little as she caught the Leslie Nielsen reference, “Chloe wasn’t very forthcoming about your past ... and hers. I wasn’t given any reason to take it at anything but face value. I wondered, mind you, because one always hears stories about strippers doing side work, but never heard anything concrete. Anyway, these are Jessenia and Marisol Ramos, my girlfriends. They might as well be my wives, because I’m that committed to them. Girls, this is Nadine Rivers, my former mother-in-law. My ex-wife’s mother.”“Polygamy’s illegal in Mexico, too, but I guess as long as you don’t formalize it, there’s no crime. No laws are broken. I gather that they’re not exactly good Catholic girls, though, if they’re sleeping with a divorced man. Not that it matters. I’m a rotten Catholic girl myself. For a Jew, you keep getting stuck with bad Catholic girls, don’t you? Just an observation. Did I ever tell you that.
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