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I feel angry, I feel unworthy, I feel caged and I feel empty. These emotions make me want to break free — to leave this life in search of another for nothing I or anyone else does makes me feel truly happy and conflict free. To fill the gap I harbour in my soul seems pointless — neither family member nor any person on this earth can change the way I am. Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish for lies within the bounds of impossibility.I want to disappear from the life I live and find another, I want to leave all those I know forever. I know myself better than any other and I know that I lack the capacity for truly endearing emotions. I love pain and danger yet I feel incapable of love and innocence. My life is a shadow of anger — I'm drowning in rage and disgust for myself. My entire being is an imposition.Water: an. I took a few extra minutes. When I returned the two of them had moved to the same side of the bar. Angel had her hand on his arm and they were laughing. The night continued and we all continued to drink. During the conversation I made sure to menion Bob's old days as a ladies man and how he bragged about the size of his cock. Bob tried to deny it, but we wouldn't let him. I told the story of the girl who told him to stop fucking her because his dick was to big. The night was going well tho.The three of us moved into the living room to watch the movie. By this time we all had one to many. As the movie started I positioned Angel between Bob and myself. Angel covered up with her little Blanket and leaned in on me.We all were talking and not paying to close attention to the movie. I was rubbing Angel's leg and inner thigh. I could tell She was horny. Then a great sex scene on the movie came up. Then Suddenly the room became quiet. Everyone's eyes where plastered to the screen. Angel.
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