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We’d just finished washing up, but I kept dropping things as they slipped through my jittery fingers. Nick picked up the fork I’d just dropped and placed it back in the sink. Then he cupped my face in his hands and looked me right in the eyes. “We don’t have to go ahead with tonight if you don’t want to.” I laughed. He’d completely misunderstood my nervous energy. “I’m fine,” I reassured him. “I must admit I am a bit nervous, but I’m really looking forward to it. Honestly.” He seemed happy with my response and pulled me into his arms. “Good,” he said softly, “I’m doing this for you, sweetheart. Because I think it’s what you want and need.” “It is, Sir. Thank you,” I whispered back and hugged him tightly. How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend and Dom? Two hours later I was kneeling, naked much to my mortification, in the playroom. My hands were cuffed behind my back and my forehead was resting on the floor. Not very comfortable, but it certainly got me into the. I'll go back and erase this later. I have detected some suspicion on his part that he realizes I am not just the computer geek I pretend to be. I hope he doesn't think I am hiding my life from him because I'm a prostitute or something like that. It would be easy to come to that conclusion, as many times as I have had to lie to him. That is what hurts the most, not being able to be honest and tell the love of my life the truth.Even if I could tell him what I do, the next obvious question would be why. As much as I love Patrick, I'm not sure I could or would want to answer that question. The memories of what shaped me to this way of life in my early teens are still too painful to even think about.I was a very wild young girl from about 10 to 16 years old. My parents think I lived in foster homes during that time. Sure, if foster homes are defined as the streets. Those years defined what I am today, why I do what I do. It only takes once watching a very special young girl ... well; I.
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