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Hmm. How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old grandson out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his grandson.One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his grandson always looked forward to their drives and. .."Tonya got up, her breathing heavy from the fire of willpower starting to burn inside her! She skated off again, this time more for power than grace; faster and faster, then she went into the jump again... BZZZZZZTTTTTTT!!! The probe electrified Tonya's most private area again!"NNNNNGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" Tonya strained to keep from screaming at the top of her lungs as she landed! Her landing looked like she'd never been on skates before, but she kept her balance!"I did it!" Tonya exclaimed, feelings of pride swelling within her! "I can do it!"'I knew you could!' her inner voice cried happily!Tonya's next move was a toe loop; she skated into her approach with new confidence, launched herself, and... BZZZZTTTTTTT!!! The probe activated again, making Tonya grit her teeth again to keep from screaming! Her leg felt shaky on the landing, but she stayed upright!"I'm gonna do this... !" she said to herself.Through dizzying spins, jumps, and loops, Tonya fought hard to keep herself in control!.
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