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That’ll keep her busy!???? My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm!????Anyone got an owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s giving off a terrible whining noise!????My wife apologised for the first time ever today. She said she’s sorry she ever married me!????My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her all day for no reason!????Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90 per cent. It’s called a wedding cake!????Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup!????My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface!✧ ✧ ✧I met a magical fairy yesterday who said she would grant me one wish. “I wish to live forever,” I said. “Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant that. Wait, did you say roommate,” you ask trying to understand what was going on. “Yeah, I’ve got a boyfriend and my roommate is also my lover too. She is an awesome girl, very small and petite and I am so much larger than her, I love to be with her. She stands about 4’11 and she has the most amazing tits I’ve ever seen.” She says as she winks at you and begins to check you out as well. You feel the stirring in your loins as we continue the conversation.“Anything I can get for you,” the waitress says as she swings by the table. “I’ll have a Newcastle and a shot of silver Patron,” I say. “And for you ladies,” she says as she looks at both of you. “I’ll take a Bud Light and a shot of Jack,” Jennifer says. “I’ll have a shot of Patron and a Margarita,” you say. “Sweet! Shots for everyone,” I shout happily. “how about some chips and queso, too, while you’re at it,” I add at a lower tone. “No problem sweety,” our waitress says. “My name is Mandy, I’ll be your server, so if you.
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