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Split the seam right here a fewinches, pull it taught and sew it up again. Problem solved." We don't have a sewing machine."We don't? What self-respecting woman doesn't have a sewing machine?"I'm sure we can find one somewhere. We've still got to buy furnitureyet, right? There's bound to be one at the Salvation Army, or Goodwill.Let's buy this stuff and get going." Not yet, young lady. There is still the shoe department and thenlingerie. You need at least a dozen more bras and panty sets, betterfitting than the one you're wearing ..." She gives me the eye again. "Areyou wearing your bra?"I blush. "No, but I was just ..." You march right back in there and get dressed!" Yes, Ma'am."We end up spending another two hours shopping for clothes. The fittingfor the bra was the most embarrassing. The clerk took a bunch ofmeasurements; turns out I'm a 34 DD. Pretty nice for someone only fivefeet tall and ninety five pounds. Right? Then she had me try on a bunchof different styles and fabrics,. Shower after shower didn't put a dent in the smell, and it was slowly becoming worse. Fearing that something sinister was going on, the college and federal authorities placed a quarantine over the sorority house. Scientists equipped with biohazard suits were permitted to enter the premises and perform research on the women's feet in hopes to figure out a cure to this foul affliction.A week had passed, and there were still no answers as to why these women's feet were so pungent. On the bright side, this foot virus seemed to only be an issue at this particular place, as no other reports of the same manner had occurred anywhere else in the world. That was until one of the scientists - a woman - had gone about her daily foot research without noticing that there was a small tear in her biohazard suit. When she returned home the following evening after another exhausting and sweaty day in her sweltering biohazard suit, she relaxed on her couch and slipped out of her work boots -- only to.
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