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I reached over to turn on the scope, thereby completely failing to notice the huge studded black leather collar she produced from her purse. Before I could even blink (it's amazing the speed at which she can do this), she had locked the collar snugly around my neck, and locked the end of the six-foot jack chain to the center of the bench (where there just happened to be a mounting hole, dammit). I turned to face her in utter disbelief, mouth agape."I'll be back for you at five," she said. "HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY WACKO!!?!?" I yelled in a hushed voice. "HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS???" "You'll think of something," she said, dropping the keys into her cleavage. "You always do." "But suppose I have to go to the bathroom," I countered. "Don't give me that," she said. "I've seen you go for a whole day without visiting the bathroom." "But...," I tried to say. "SHHH! The subject is closed. I'll be back at five. Bye."She turned and left, against my hushed protests. I sat in panic. " She fluffed her long hair with both hands. As she placed one ofher hands on her hips, she then stuck that same hip out in a veryfeminine, possibly even seductive, pose. "Do you like this look, Jeff?"I caught my breath. "You're beautiful, Cheri." She smiled back at me. And then I decided to test my ability, or lack thereof, to grant myselfmy own wish. "I _wish_ you'd kiss me," I stated firmly.Cheri frowned, as her previous smile quickly disappeared. I could tellshe was pissed. "In your wet dreams, asshole," she spat. "I may looklike like some really sexy bitch to you, Jeff. But in my head, which isthe only place it counts, I'm still me," she sneered. "I'm still thathandsome stud, who gets any girl he wants, that you and every other guyon the planet has always been jealous of. I'm just momentarily packageda little differently right now." She posed again. "I'm still totallyme, Jeff. I'm still Cheryl Linley Wilters just like I've always been."Now that was totally bogus, I.
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