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“Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”DO NOT LAUGHTHURSDAYOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defence.“Your Honour,” she began coolly, “I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.”FRIDAYA Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa...“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that’s the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten,. "Now, what do we do? Tell Teri or let her find out on her own?Remember now, I do not want to say that you are my niece, because youare my child, and as a girl, that makes you my daughter, which is how itshould be." What if she tells all the guys? I'll never have any friends everagain!" Her mother and I don't think she'll do that honey. Think about it for aminute. Just how many girls do we have around here for her to play with?None, right? If she tells everyone, she'll be back to being alone again,and based on the way you two are around each other, we don't thinkshe'll say a word, but just in case, her mother will reinforce the ideathat this is just between the four of us, okay?"It was hard, but I said okay, then went to bed. In my dreams I had avision of Teri naked, only with my head stuck on her body so I knew whatI would look like if I were a girl. In the morning after breakfast, mominsisted that I take a bubblebath, and as the scented water covered meand I smelled the flowery.
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