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Sarah, 23 :'I first realised that I had submissive sexual fantasies when I was 11 or 12, and to begin with they involved me being captured, kept prisoner, tortured and then raped repeatedly by muscular men in their 40s... these feelings shocked me but excited me more, and instead of denying them, after a while I embraced them. They naturally evolved as I became a teenager, and by 14 I was having powerful day dreams about being killed.... the fantasy would be similar, I would be abducted, raped, taken in every hole and the final act would be a huge blade stabbing into me. I would come in waves and waves, sweating and panting as I imagined it entering my belly, cutting me open... my captors would crowd round, and I would look up at them and thank them as I slipped away..... When I became a young woman, I needed to be more extreme and so the scenario changed to its most honest form... I would imagine that I volunteered to be killed ! This took me to new, impossible heights of sexual. ‘Hey Libby. My name is Colin and your profile caught my eye, you look like a lot of fun, fancy a chat? Nice name by the way. ‘ First impressions? Yes please, I would love a chat with someone who looks as good as you. I opened up his profile picture and had a good look, I went a little deeper into his profile and read more about him, he was 28, so a couple of years older than me. He lived a 40 minute drive away from me in the beautiful countryside, Yorkshire. I bit my lip with excitement and instantly message him back. ‘Hey Colin, why thank you, I’m glad you like it.. you have a nice name too! I would love to have a chat, how are you doing?’ We carried on chatting over the next 5 weeks. I found out we had a lot in common, we both loved boring TV shows and staying in most weekends relaxing. I found out he worked as a chef in a traditional English restaurant I had visited in the past, I wondered if we had ever crossed paths before but nothing came to mind. We both seemed to click in.
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