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. so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense. " Bob's not a stranger," piped Aidan."He did check me out in the peep hole before he let me in," said Bob.Layla pushed past them, to stare at the front door. A straight backed chair from the dining room had been pulled to the door. Aidan had apparently stood on it to look through the peep hole, like he had seen her do before. The chair was now sitting beside the door.Bob knelt, to put his face at Aidan's level."How 'bout we make a new rule?" he said. "From now on only Mommy answers the door, unless she's too sick to open it, OK?" You mean like if I should call 911?" asked the little boy.Bob's eyebrows rose. "Exactly," he said."OK!" said Aidan. "I'm going to go draw. You want me to draw you a picture, Bob?" Sure," said Bob, standing up as the boy ran back into the living room.Bob turned to Layla."Sorry," he said. "Once he had the door open I pretty much had to come in." He's too smart sometimes," complained Layla."Smells good," said Bob. His eyes ran up and down her body. "Looks good.
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