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He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ - He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ - He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’3 ... He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’5. He does not act like a’TOTAL ASS’- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s.The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.”“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.”“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in me favourite pub, the moment you set foot in. “So, they were cheating?” Jack asked. “Obviously. Unbelievable really. She has some picture of Scott with some woman, supposedly his secretary. But they were just at a bar, it doesn't prove anything. And even if he was cheating, in what universe does that give her the right to just turn around and cheat? I'm sorry Jack, I'm just pissed. This is bullshit,” I replied. Then he hugged me really tightly for a minute and gave me a kiss. We leaned back and just cuddled for a few minutes. Jack was seriously some kind of saint. “I'm not saying she was justified but, this is coming from your husband that really just wants the best for you. I say just let this go. This is nothing more than a run out the clock situation. Not from experience obviously, but think about it like this: what's your favourite food or band?” Jack asked. “You know both of those answers right?” I asked. “Well, you don't just eat shake and bake chicken or just listen to Shinedown every day. You'd get sick of it. Obviously.
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