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If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.This is compliments of PepereOld one, but still good for a laugh.ALTAR BOY’S CONFESSION ‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.’The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Dominic Savino?’‘Yes, Father, it is.’‘And who was the girl you were with?’‘I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.’“Well, Dominic,. "I need black powder," he told the man. A moment later, the rod erupted in golden fire, and once again the world was hard and cold, dim outside of the light the rod cast.Quickly, McAllister drew the line of fire from within himself, for the second time in ten minutes. He drew it with only the much-depleted golden fire from within, somehow reluctant to use the trace of the green fire the strange god lent him. With familiarity comes ease, McAllister supposed, as the stuff of space folded. He filled the fiery square with the image of the casks of black powder the ivory baton left outside of the normal flow of time in Sea's Home.It was an easy matter to pull one of the smaller boxes of the explosive stuff to him through the square of golden fire. Though, it resisted motion in the cold half-light of the world outside of time, having an odd tendency to stop moving when he stopped pulling.Surprised, McAllister saw the walls of the square of the golden fire he drew from within were perhaps.
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