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.There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'This one is compliments of RrroscoA salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: "Don't miss Jock TheAmazing Scotsman".The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried. " I don't understand?" I explained."Unprofessional behaviour," she explained, "A quick quarter million settlement out of court and move on, except she's moved on while I." Jennie was your?" I asked."Girlfriend." she said, "Are you shocked?" No, I thought you were a, ah." I said searching for the politically correct term. "Bi," she said. "with a Be and an Eye." I see," I knew the rumours abounded of my romps with prostitutes, "Not Bee You Wye." No," she almost laughed."Oh well, no hard feelings eh," I said, "What plans do you have?" I suddenly thought."Mind your own business." she said, "Actually, all I can do is file for bankruptcy and go home to mother." But your Law degree, surely you can't practise if you go bankrupt?" I suggested."I waitressed in McDonlds, I'll do it again." she said."That's fine at Seventeen but sad at Forty." I told her."Well obviously I'm finished here," she said."I'm afraid so, gross misconduct, making false allegations," I agreed, "I think you will be.
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