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.. Get yourself off home.”Then the foreman sees Mick packing his bag and says “Mick ... where do you think you are going?”Mick says Well I can’t work in the dark can I”?This one is from joevsr‎Valentine’s DayBar Stool #1 “What did you get your wife for Valentine’s Day??Bar Stool #2 “Nothing, She did not use what I got her last year.”Bar Stool #1 “What did you get her last year?”Bar Stool #2 “Cemetery Plots!!”Valentine’s day is the only day you can wear a red “heart-on” and nobody comments.These Mind bogglers are compliments of squaddie117‎Read these using pure logic, no common sense, a pinch of salt, leave your brains in neutral and try not to run on the freeway afterwards :).A bullet cannot hit a man running away.By the time the bullet has reached the man’s point of departure, the man has retreated.The bullet then has to cover that extra distance but finds the man has retreated further.It covers that distance too, only to find that again the man is not there.And so on and so on.Each. “What do you mean?” I asked, but I new what he wanted.“You’re a pretty girl. My wife and I don’t have sex anymore and my daughter parades her half naked friends through the house. Maybe if you did something for me, I could forget the rent for this months.”“I’m not doing that,” I said loudly.“It’s up to you, but if you can’t pay you have to be out in two weeks.”He turned to walk away, but I called him back. I had nowhere to go other than my mom’s and I knew her boyfriend was still there.“What do I have to do?”“Get undressed,” he demanded.I slowly unbuttoned my blouse and took it off. His eyes were fixed on me, but I couldn’t see anyway out. I undid my denim mini skirt and let it fall to the floor. He approached me and held me close rubbing his hands over my breast and squeezing them hard. His fat gut was right in front of me. He sat down in one of the kitchen chairs and pulled me towards him, pulling my bra off. His mouth clasped my right nibble and his dribbled dripped onto my.
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