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” I answered truthfully. I have never been in a committed relationship but I was cool with that, I liked the freedom.“Yeah? Gays have it so much easier getting laid, I haven’t been near a girl in a month.” He laughed again. “Like, when did you last get laid?” He looked over at me.“Seriously Eric? Isn’t it weird that you wanna know when i last got dick?” I met his eyes with a grin on my face.“Why is that weird? If you were straight, would it be weird then? No, so tell me” He was right. “Two days ago, before that, five days.” I told him in defeat.“See i told you! Gays have it so much easier.” He took a sip of his drink. “Yeah, maybe you should try it” I mocked him. He pushed me and laughed. After three hours in the car we stopped to pee, stretch and swap driver. We had seven hours left of driving today and counting in lunch and breaks we should be at the motel by 8pm. The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful, stopping for lunch and dinner and taking turns driving.We got to the motel. " Let's play 'Worst Possible News!'" I said. "Louise is going to tell me tomorrow that Don's got leprosy!" Naw, it's not a disease," Tad said, warming to the game. "She'll tell you he weighs 450 pounds and likes to sit around the house without wearing a shirt!" He's a child-molester!" I suggested."Louise is his third wife -- and he never got around to divorcing the other two!" No, he's about to leave her -- for a guy!" I screamed."All right, all right, that's enough," Tad said. "Whatever Louise tells you tomorrow, it won't be as bad as any of those. Now let's relax and see what's on TV."Thursday at lunch, Louise had apparently had time to prepare her little spiel. "Please don't -- ahh -- be too judgmental about this," she said as a preamble. "It's not as bad as it might sound to you, at first." Spill it, Louise, the suspense is killing me." OK. Listen. Don. Don has a... a porn collection." You mean, like, dirty books?" Yeah, but I'm not talking Playboy, here Cathy. Don's got some.
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