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“I know,” he exclaims, “Challenge her to a pissing contest.”“A pissing contest?”“Surely you can out distance her on that ... do it on the front lawn so you can see the difference.”“Ok, I’ll do it.”So he goes home and says to his wife, “I challenge you to distance pissing contest. We’ll meet on the front lawn after dark.”So they each prepare themselves drinking lots of beverage prior to the contest. After dark they meet and the husband suggests the wife go first. So she drops her drawers and lets out with a modest shower.Hubby steps up, drops his drawers, and grabs his “equipment”. His wife says, “Ah, no, dear. No hands allowed.”A woman goes into a store and buys a beautiful green and blue parrot. But the only words the parrot knows how to say are: “Who is it?”She takes the parrot home, but soon realizes that the bird’s color clashes with the living room. So she calls an Interior designer, who says he will come by shortly.When the Decorator comes, the woman is out shopping. He knocks. I was a straight ‘C’ student, and if it wasn’t for Cindy’s help and her looking over my shoulder I might have been a senior for two years. I wasn’t and am not dumb, I just wasn’t motivated.I am Robert (Rob, not Bob or Bobby) Jenkins; I am now 42 years old. I have been married to Cindy for 17 years; we have two children 16-year-old twins Mac and Marci.I was having my morning coffee when Cindy dropped the bombshell. She had not been very loving for almost the past four months. Since right after the start of the new school year she had been snippy, quick to argue, eager to criticize.I was fed up with it all. I had basically moved out of the bedroom and into the guest house. The only time I was in the house was for my meals.We were sitting at the breakfast bar when Cindy looked at me and said. “Rob, I want a divorce. We have not communicated for months.”“OK, you need to find a lawyer. Is your lover going to be paying? Because you will no longer be on any of our accounts, and all of the.
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