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“Is she checking me out?” I wonder. I decide to play along and bend over slightly. Giving her a view of my ass, as I know it looks good in the jeans that I decided to wear today along with a flowing cream cashmere top. It always makes my breasts look great. I don’t wear it often, but sure glad I did today. Coming back to the table I must say something about this. I know I wasn’t hearing things. “I know I heard you say something ma’am. You may be forward,” I say to her quite frank. Puzzled, she looks at me and simply states, “No, I did not, you must have been dreaming that. Did you wish I had maybe?” Boy, this lady is good. I know full well she did say something and she is blatantly denying it. I wonder what she is up to. I shrug and say, “Quite possibly,” and go about business, taking my seat next to her once again. I cross my legs and start fishing through the paperwork, discussing the options with her. She comes in closer to have a better look at the papers I am flushing. “Well, I never! The cheek of it! I fought you wanted to see me passport,” she called out to the officer in an aggrieved tone as I accelerated gently away, leaving the man shaking his head and trudging back to his car.“What the fuck just happened?” I asked after a few long, tense moments as I watched the police car in my rearview mirror, while simultaneously trying to watch the road ahead and not stare at her in astonishment at the same time.She began to giggle, and then came that laugh that sent out an all-points alert to Mr. Happy once again.“Where did that awful train smash come from,” I said, smiling helplessly. “Did you hit your head?”“I thought it was bloody good, like,” she said. Oh my god! She had gone from a bad caricature of an Essex girl, to a 1950’s East End washer-woman to a Welsh accent that would get any comedian booed offstage for being racist.“Agh! No more. Stop, please! It’s like listening to some soap opera about working class slags from fifty years ago, played.
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