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I typically received standing ovations, complete with hoots and hollers, for my stunning wigger demonstrations. Little did I realize at the time, my karaoke gigs garnered the attention of several wanton housewives over the summer months, one of whom took a quick liking to me. While performing the chorus of “Funky Cold Medina” one night, I took notice of a white trash milf who was sitting in the front row of bar tables that surrounded the karaoke machine. She was seated with a female friend but had not entertained any conversation with the other woman during my entire performance. Instead, the attractive milf had her eyes deadlocked upon my crotch. Wherever I moved across the small dance floor, busting out Tone Lōc lyrics into the microphone in my hand, the woman’s eyes would follow. With the closing of the ditty, the woman finally broke her concentration and started to consume me with her gaze. She seductively moved her eyes all over my body with a smirk perched. Today is going to be the longest day of my life. I had to try to get my mind under some sort of control, and figured, Coffee is the answer. I grabbed my cup and headed to the break area in an attempt to calm the storm that raged in my pants. When I got settled back at my desk and began going over my scheduled tasks from our meeting, the Text Message notification chimed on my cell phone. It was from Heather. I assumed she must be texting me to ask where I was, as I had forgotten to mention that I had to go into the office in the morning. That is not what she sent, however. Instead Heather's message was, "So you moved the webcam?" "No. It must have gotten moved when I changed Tara," I finally replied, a few minutes later. I had to get my mind right for some serious lying and denial that was no doubt going to be required of me."Don't lie!" Heather texted. I was breathing so hard, I thought I might pass out, or throw up. Or possibly both. The only thing I could text back was, "I'm sorry..
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