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She was either doing yoga or talking about it. She was into everything about this New Age lifestyle.She redecorated the house, turning it from Cowboy Rustic to Bohemian Chic. Our home looked like we lived inside an Earthbound store. There must have been two rules in her decorating: 1) use a shit-ton of pillows, and 2) no two pillows could look alike or match anything else in the house. Her wardrobe also changed completely. She seemed to wear a cross between Altar’d States and 1970’s Haight Ashbury, with a healthy dose of Lululemon tossed in for good measure. The house stank of a variety of incense, candles, and potpourri all day long. Strange crystals appeared all over the house, even in our Brita water pitcher. Why the hell we needed crystals in our water was beyond me. I was even beginning to wonder if Jude wasn’t smoking The Weed with her friends when I was not home.Jude didn’t limit her excitement about her new lifestyle to just annoying me with it. She told all her lady friends,. “What is the weirdest place or situation you have ever masturbated?” I askedShe stood silent for a while and looked into my eyes. Taking a sip from her drink, she said, “I masturbated in my bedroom today while you were out here watching TV.”I lost my thinking as she said it. I was looking at her face, and she was looking at the floor with a slight smile.“Uh-huh… Someone can’t hold herself,” I replied.“Look who’s talking. Like you didn’t masturbate in my bathroom today,” she said with a smirk.I was stunned yet again. She knew. She knew everything. All the shame between us had disappeared now. Without speaking further, I spun the bottle again.It landed on her, and she chose truth. “Did you know that I was staring at your breasts in the kitchen today?” I asked“Staring? You were drooling over them.” She said.“So why didn’t you say anything?” I asked.“Only one question at a time, mister,” She replied with a laugh.We both finished our drinks, and I fixed another round. We both were silent.
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