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Jerry had gotten in trouble a few times for drinking but one event stood out above the rest. One August afternoon after he finished high school, he and a couple of his buddies defaced all the mailboxes along a five mile stretch of Route 50 on the outskirts of town. It started out as a dare between Jerry and his best friend Al and soon grew into a bet. Nobody remembered who started it and who escalated it but soon their buddy Walter, who was a couple of years older and had his own pickup truck, was hurtling them down the road, their metal Rocinante weaving from side to side. As they drove east, Al played the part of Sancho Panza in the front seat while Jerry was the Don Quixote character in the bed of the pickup. The two switched roles on the trip west.All three of them had taken remedial English in their senior year and had seen the film "Man of La Mancha" in lieu of reading "Don Quixote". Since there were no windmills to speak of, their quest was the mailboxes along the shoulder of. Oh, don't do that. Well see, now that's clearly gonna leave a stain. You shouldn't rub it in like that. "Ohhh! Yuck! Look, just have Mike call me when he's feeling better. My name is Sandy and he's got my vid number. I said DON'T TOUCH ME!" Then, footsteps stomped off down the hall. "I'm sorry," I heard the voice shout down the hall. "I'm sure a dry cleaner's will be able to get that stain out!" I heard the door close and lock. "Why lock the door?" I thought, but I was too tired to ask the question aloud. Sleep came for me again with the absence of any further noise. When I woke up the second time, I came to slowly, lying with my eyes half open, looking into my small room. I saw a pair of legs walking back and forth from my efficiency kitchen to my cupboard. I could hear the sound of glasses and plates clinking. I could smell food cooking. It smelled wonderful and made my stomach growl. I reached down to scratch my testicles. Well, that's funny! I thought. That kinda feels like ....
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