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“But I have no money,” she says.“Look, I’m fucking dying here,” Denzil says as the oily rag pressed against his groin slowly turned red with blood.“Only ten quid, I’ll pay you two quid a fuck,” I says reasonably.“You are a cruel man, like my father, do you have any wives?” she said admiringly.“Look I’m fucking dying,” says Denzil.“No way,” I says, “Don’t want to be tied down.”“Too fucking ugly to pull,” Denzil whines, “Get on the R/T I’m fucking dying here!”“I should be honoured to be your wife,” she says.“No, soon as we get Denzil sorted immigration will arrest you,” I explained.“Then throw him over the side instead!” she suggested.“I’m fucking tempted,” I explained, “Here take the life jacket, you owe me five fucks remember.”“I will pay you.” she says and she lets me strap the life jacket on her and she jumps in the water and sort of half dog paddles after her mates.“I’m fucking dying remember,” Denzil whined.Just then we spotted Dan returning. “Full ahead both!” I shouted down the. “Kids are overrated, keep it about you two,” Will said. “From someone who knows a lot about kids,” James said sarcastically. “No, you have to have kids, kids are great,” Andy said. “What about sex life when you have kids?” I asked. “You know, kids are heavier sleepers than you think,” Andy said chuckling. “Besides, they can get horny as hell when they’re pregnant.” “Even if they are all the time anyway?” “You wouldn’t believe.” Andy clarified. “Yup,” James said. “Alright you two can have fun with diapers, John and I are going to go fuck our women,” Will said. Another round of cards, I had a king and a queen. I raised pre-flop. “We got a high-roller here,” Will said. “Bluff,” James said. Everyone called me. Flop: KQ4. I was big blind. “Five dollars,” I said, pushing nearly a fourth of my chips forward. “So you think you can buy the pot you just made?” James asked. “Yeah that’s the plan,” I said. Andy and Will folded. “Let’s see the turn.” The turn was a 10. Again, I was first.
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