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Cockpit AnnouncementShortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies andGentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and ... OH MY GOD!"Silence followed ... Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"This one is compliments of AnonymousA married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't. "Are you sick? Oh my God, you're dying. Please tell me you're going to be OK." I'm not dying, honey. I'm fine. Look, I've been so fartumult just deciding to come clean on this that I didn't give nearly enough thought to how to begin, and now I've messed it up completely. Let me start all over."He took a deep breath and looked again at an anxious Abby."Do you remember the hay ride early our senior year?" Sure. That was the first time you felt me up."David turned scarlet. "You know that was an accident," he mumbled."Yeah, but it's fun to see you blush almost twenty years later." Yeah, well, that's not the part I'm talking about. Do you remember when I ripped open my leg?" Of course I do. It kept me from getting you to grab the other one. Ha! I like this game," she said as he flushed again. "It took me three more weeks to get you to ask me out. I know you got hurt, but I recall that night very fondly." What about the scar I got?" I wish you hadn't gotten hurt. I was worried that you.
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