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He had always figured that Chuck was too smart to fall for someone like that. He started to reconsider Chuck’s invitation to be his best man at the wedding.Chuck returned to the patio and took a seat next to Betsy. He asked, “What were you talking about while I was gone?”“He was showing me your baby pictures,” Betsy said with a smile.Chuck was lucky he wasn’t drinking something or else it would have flown out his nose. That was the last thing he expected Betsy to say. Harry laughed at the expression on Chuck’s face.“Really? I didn’t know he had any,” Chuck finally managed to say.“He was telling me about how rough it was there,” Betsy said.Chuck said, “I can’t imagine what it would be like to live like that. I know you know what it’s like, but I really can’t imagine it.”“What do you mean she knows what it’s like?” Harry asked.Chuck pointed to the band of gold on Betsy’s arm and said, “She’s a servant of the Two-Sided One.”“Oh,” Harry said staring at the torque on her arm.It seemed. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.Sure as I’m speaking, he was as high as a kite.And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,Quit shaking the sleigh, ‘cause I gotta go pee.They cleared the old lamp post; the tree got a rub,Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.“That was some brothel” he said with a smile”The reindeer are pooped, and I’ll just stay here awhile.He walked to the kitchen; himself poured a drink,Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.I started to laugh, my wife.
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