So she bit her tongue and stifled her urge.She could not help herself; she was totally dependant upon his generosity. He didn't seem to have much. He proffered a squeeze bottle of water; she drank greedily. A small whimper escaped her lips as he withdrew the bottle; he ignored it. He spooned some cereal into her mouth. It was already soggy with milk, so she had little problem chewing it enough to swallow, even though her jaw ached. "It has 100 percent of the vitamins and minerals you need every day", he offered. A faint smile crossed her lips, then faded into the reality of her helplessness. He alternated cereal and water, until both were gone. He dabbed up the spillage and gave her a quick kiss. She knew he was ready to replace the gag anyway, so she summoned her strength for one heartrending plea for mercy. It was cut off before it got started as he stuffed the ball in her mouth the first time she opened it enough to do so easily. Her tears were hidden by the rolled stocking as he. She curled her tongue there.It was so intimate and so thrilling that as soon as I came I was miserable.‘I’m not ashamed,’ I said. ‘But I don’t know who I am anymore.’Anna stroked my arm. ‘Don’t think about it. I’m as fucked up as anybody.’ We were getting ready side-by-side at the sink. My hair was in a French braid. I borrowed her lipstick to turn my lips as red as hers. We watched each other through the mirror on the wall. I said, ‘Don’t look at my ears.’Anna laughed. She had ugly bruises on both her arms, above the elbow.‘Where did you get those?’ I asked. She smiled at the mirror. ‘That was you. You grip so hard.’She looked down at them. ‘I like them. Souvenirs.’ On our last night, we climbed the roof again. Fully clothed this time; Anna wore her walking boots.I laid a blanket on a square of flat roof. We undressed ourselves. Anna hopped as she wiggled her shorts and her panties over her boots. I pictured us married, undressing this way, but slower. I tried to imagine not being.
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