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He saw the bewilderment on my face. "My wife and I bumped into Suzannah at the New Year's Day concert at Royal Albert Hall. I asked where you were, and she said you had some virus and were confined to bed. She was with your friend Colonel Ledbetter, who had stepped in at the last moment to accompany her to the concert as she particularly wanted to see Nigel Kennedy." That's Harry for you," I said, trying to keep the bitterness and sarcasm from my voice, "always ready to lend a helping hand, or something. Yes, I'm fine now, thanks."Dougie nodded. "Good, because the IED vehicle trial at Catterick Camp is back on. Actually, it was fortunate the trial was cancelled last year as the Aldermaston boffins discovered a few glitches in the software, which they have now fixed. We're due to travel to Catterick in a week's time."I had asked my solicitors to deliver the notice of my divorce petition to Suzannah, and Harry Ledbetter, on Christmas Day as a surprise Christmas present for the two. Hey, look here! I’m bleeding! Man, I’m bleeding!The guy, he doesn’t know what to do. He stammers out, God, I’m sorry! I, I was hunting deer, and, and, suddenly, like, POW!, there you are! I, I didn’t know what else to do. Man, I am so, so sorry!The bear appeared to think about for a minute. He said, Lookit, man: you really hurt me. YOU hurt me bad. If you expect me to just forgive and forget, you’ll have to make me feel better.What are you thinking?Well, I like blowjobs. How about a blowjob?The guy thinks about it for a moment. He thinks, ‘Well, I could give this bear a blowjob, but that’s disgusting. Or, he could tear me apart, and I’d die slowly and in terrible anguish. Ya know, giving this bear a blowjob starts to look not so bad’. He turns to the bear, and says, How about the blowjob?So, he blows the bear, and they part ways. On the way back to his truck, the guy starts to think. That fucking bear, gawdammit, made me, MADE ME blow him! That’s awful! I feel so degraded, so.
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