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"He'd have no qualms about fucking you or any other cow that gets in his pasture!"Judy jumped up and ran to the bedroom and slammed the door. It occurred to me that I had made a couple blunders. I had more or less agreed with her assessment that she was a cow and I had protested her involvement with Sam Gault. He fit into my scheme better than any other man in the entire Poconos! I would have to work on my natural tendency to be possessive and jealous. Would that bastard fuck my wife? Was she too chubby for him? Who did he think he was, refusing to fuck Judy? I realized I was jumping the gun and decided it was time to step up the game.I went into the bedroom and found Judy crying with her head buried in the pillow. I sat down on the bed and began to rub her shoulders."Judy, I'm a jackass! We were having a great time and I stupidly ruined it. I promise I'll never suggest that your relationship with Sam Gault is anything less than professional," I avowed. "I trust you completely and. My failure as a coach was that I couldn’t think of anyplace else to play.”Reggie Jackson commenting on Tom Seaver: “Blind people come to the ballpark just to listen to him pitch.”Doug Sanders, professional golfer: “I’m working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch on Tuesday, everything will be perfect.”Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher: “All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there is a fat guy doing great. Bring me another beer.’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to.
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