I do fantasise about skirts and heels and getting manicures, but that seems to be a line I don’t want to cross in real life now. I prefer the gender-neutral look I have right now. I don’t wear perfume, and I certainly don’t wear any makeup, although I do pluck my eyebrows. Helen just says I should go with the flow and dress like I want to dress and not worry about what anybody else thinks. That works to some extent, but when men see me with just a top and leggings on they can see that I don’t have any breasts and I get a lot of confused glances. She says that is an issue we can work on in the future which sort of implies that she thinks it would be healthier if I got implants. At her insistence and with Heidi’s consent, I did have the dreaded Adam’s apple removed a year and a half ago. I’m not sure I am ready to have a pair of boobs yet. My voice has also moved up a few octaves. It helps that I never had a deep masculine voice. Now when I hear myself speaking I sound very. ” I looked at Gemma and Aisha, who were studying her, carefully and no doubt making her nervous. I put my hand on Hayley’s shoulder and then moved it upwards, running my fingers through her long hair. “Ashlie said you were pretty, she was right. Have you two kissed yet or what?” “No…” said Hayley, clearly embarrassed. “Awww… poor Ashlie,” said Laura. “Yeah, we need to put that right,” said Gemma. “OK girls, I’m dealing with it,” I said. “Hayley, I think you should kiss Ashlie now, while we watch.” “OK…” “Yes, I’ve not done yet,” I added. “Sorry.” “Then as the second part of your initiation, I want you to submit to being fondled by everyone, through your clothes. It’s just so you can get to know everyone, break the ice kind of thing.” Hayley looked up at me and then looked from one girl to another. Ashlie, who was sitting next to her friend put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Hayley smiled at her uni friend and took a deep breath. I can hardly say how turned on I was at that moment..
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