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That person might very well want to be dominated, and might even want to be dominated by you, maybe--but until you find out what that person wants, don't make assumptions. And especially, don't make assumptions about what that person wants or needs, or how that person "should" interact with you.When someone discovers an interest in BDSM, it can be easy to slip into a fantasy-fulfillment mindset. You have ideas about how you would like to be and what kinds of things you'd like to explore, you have fantasies, you have things you really want to do--so it may be tempting to slot every submissive you encounter into your own fantasies. When you stop relating to people as people and start relating to them as fantasy-fulfillment objects, you can expect to have problems.How so? When I meet people online and tell them what to do, there's no problem!Online forums are very different from real-life forums. Online forums are more fantasy-oriented; in many cases, the submissive you're talking to is. "Be sure you wantto know," was all I said. He nodded so I told him most of the story fromthe time I met Mike forward. He listened quietly and intently.That night we went to bed and I could tell he was still "processing" soI kissed him goodnight and turned over. He had an early meeting the nextday and so he was gone when I woke. I showered, got dressed, called acab and headed to the airport. I flew home that day thinking that I'dlost him. When I got home, I went down to the convenience store on thecorner and bought a quart of chocolate ice cream. I came home and put onsome sweat pants, ate the entire quart and watched an old movie on TVcalled "The Goodbye Girl". I cried and I laughed and went to bed.First a week went by and then a month and then 3 months and no call oremail or anything. It was over. I was trying to move on emotionally butI was drinking a little too much and some of my "clients" were makingcomments about how I seemed remote and they were paying me so theyexpected me to.
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