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I did what she said anyway. Once I got hard she took out the ruler and measured me. I will never forget what she said, “yep, not even quite 4 inches hard, he’s more than double your size. I am so tired of your tiny cock”. I felt like I was going to explode, I was so turned on and so mad and so confused all at once. We never had sex again after that night. In fact, I never had sex with a woman again after that night. Andrea has made it clear that I wasn’t enough man. I didn’t know what to do. I stopped visiting her after a while. I found on her gchat that she had been fucking this black guy Shawn for like 6 months and had been telling her friends about what a small cock I had. She was saying I wore her panties and she said I was just a sissy white boy. Reading that part really turned me on so I googled sissy white boy and started to fall down a rabbit hole that changed me forever. I found so many images of smooth submissive white boys dressed in girls clothing worshipping black dick.. He must have thought I was crazy. * For a moment, my heart was light and sang like the wind as I held Elsie in my arms. I felt a hunger and a need to have her, and to be there for her. It was like I had been filled with a storm and it was carrying me away in its fury. Then, her eyes filled with doubt. I could see it was not fear of me, but a conflict in her heart that caused her to run. It seems that all women are similar in some ways. White or red, they must feel a need to be reassured that they are not simply being used. Elsie had that doubt, but how could I explain? My heart ached and my spirit cried out as she fled, still naked toward the camp. I raised my eyes toward the sky, hoping for some sign as to how I could undo what I had done. I did not follow as quickly as I might. I knew I could catch her and wrestle her into the soft grasses, but what then? She would only see me as the savage she once did. No, though my heart was heavy and sadness fell like a fog on my mind, I would.
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