Our conversation, if you can call it that, seemed to alternate between laughter and tears of overwhelming joy. We made the final arrangements for my trip to her parent's house. We told each other how much we loved each other, several times. As I hung up the phone, I stood there motionless for what was probably several minutes. I was completely paralyzed with emotion. After a few minutes, I was finally able to move. I caught my mother's dog Maddie looking me over with curious looks. "You should feel this good Maddie", I said to myself.When the time came for me to drive to the Christmas gathering over Cindy's parent's place, I was fortunate enough to once again borrow my mother's car. I was dressed in dress slacks and a new sweater my mother had got me for Christmas. I had my presents for Cindy in my hand as I made my way out the door.The drive out to the Flemington area was a good hour or so. I couldn't say for sure, as my thoughts were so preoccupied with my thoughts of the time I. I need to be closer to you. I push you down so that I can crawl up on your lap and wrap my legs around your waist. I feel you hard through our jeans, like we’re teenagers, and I feel young. Teenage desire frozen in time and unleashed years later. You laugh a little unhooking and removing my bra. You think it’s funny that I wore one. I knew when I put it on you’d think it was silly, but I want to pack as many memories into this day as I can. The feel of your smile and the breath of your little laugh on my lips is one I will keep with me until the day I die.Your voice shakes as you tell me that you love me. We’re both so nervous. We’ve never been here before. Our timing has been so wrong for all these years. I bury my face in your neck, and I say your name because I want to hear it out loud. I begin to tremble a little and you hold me tighter. I know that we’ll have to pry ourselves apart eventually, but for now I am going to hang on for dear life. You feel the wave of sadness come.
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